December 2002

Masthead 2002

Minutes from October's  meeting- Kathleen Fenton

December  Meal

A Year in Review-Abby

Fundamentals-Gloria

A Year Anew-Abby

A Word or Two From a Wife-Kathleen

In the News

On the Town- October 2002 Part 2- Diane Frank

On the Town- Late October Early November- Diane FranK

Annual Awards Ballot
Upcoming Events

At 8:00 p.m. the Chair, Abby White, called the meeting to order. The floor was given to Gloria Fenton to talk about the Christmas Party planning. Gloria reminded people who had not voted for the Awards that ballots were available at the meeting to do so. The meal was discussed. The suggested menu will be posted on the group’s email list so that people can volunteer for those items that are still open. There will be a gift exchange as in past years. Suggested value is $5 to $10 range. The exchange is done by the bring a gift, get a gift method. The agenda for the Christmas Party will be the evening meal, entertainment (skit), the Awards Ceremony, and the gift exchange. Due to the current state of our finances, the usual meeting fees will be charged for the Christmas party, and there will be a $5.00 fee for guests. Deb and Elaine will bring their karaoke machine. Anyone with seasonal CD’s or small decorations are welcome to bring them.

January will be the organizational meeting. A possible speaker for the February meeting is an image consultant. Cheryl reminded the group that February is S.O. (spouses/partners) month.

Abby continued last month’s discussion about the phone lines. Are they used enough to justify continuing them? Currently the expense is approximately $15.00 per month. Abby told us that most of the people who call have gotten the number from the internet. Some want to talk. Some can’t receive email. We currently get between ten and fifteen calls per month. The phone line is still in Lori’s name, and she would like to have that changed. Changing the phone line to another name could increase our fees. Abby will track the calls via a log for the next two months. We will then take up the discussion.

Laura stated that search engines still bring up the old web site. Diane Frank and Michelle need to discuss this matter to make the necessary adjustments. Lisa suggested that the search engines need to be updated.

Lisa informed the group about the accident Tanya was in, and gave us an update on her medical condition.

Lisa also read a letter from Karen who has decided that it is now appropriate for her to change her membership to that of "associate member". With this change, she also withdrew her name from nomination for Director of Membership.

Final nominations were taken. Lisa nominated Michelle for Director of the Board, and Cheryl seconded.

Gloria nominated Abby for Director of Membership, and Kathleen seconded.

Final nominations are:

Director of the Board: Gloria Fenton, Michelle

Director of Communications: Michelle, Diane Frank

Director of Family Support: Kathleen Fenton

Director of Finance: Diane Brennan

Director of Outreach: Diane Frank

Director of Membership: Abby White

Two positions required ballot voting. The results were: Gloria Sue Fenton for Chair of the Board; Diane Frank for Director of Communications. The unopposed positions were given acclamation by voice vote.

Since Diane Frank would hold two positions as a result of the nominations and voting, she will be contacted after the meeting to decide which position she will accept. Nominations for the open position will be taken at the December meeting.

Lisa moved the meeting be adjourned, Cheryl seconded.

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Greeting All. Well, before we know it, another year will have passed us by, and another set of memories will be etched in time. It all goes by so quickly there truly is little time to fathom and digest all that swishes by us. We can always look back with fondness in our hearts and minds, but we cannot forget that with each new day, a new set of memories is at hand, and so the vicious cycle continues.

We saw so much happen this last year at Alpha Omega. Through the hard work of many, and especially Karen, we saw the passage and implementation of our new constitution. We also saw the dawning of a new, improved website, thanks to the involvement and input of so many. We have had some wonderful programs, most of which have come from different members, all willing to lend a hand.

We saw the addition of several new members, and they were welcomed by all. We lost two very dear members of Alpha Omega, and they will always be missed by so many.

As we reflect, we learn from our mistakes, we use what we learn to make ourselves, our group, and the world a little better. If we use what we have learned wisely, it will elevate our group to heights we have yet to see.

This is the overall goal…..to become the best we can be, to offer a bit more than we have in the past, and to extend ourselves to those who come to us for support. Individually, it would be a daunting task. As a group, it will be easy.

Abby

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FUNDAMENTALS

By Gloria Sue Fenton

This article will mark the seventh time in my fourteen years of being a member of Tri-Ess and Alpha Omega that I will accept the opportunity to be a leader for our group. And now, once more, it is my challenge to be worthy of that opportunity to all Alpha Omega members.

Being a leader for Alpha Omega is something that I take very seriously. I always have, and I always will. The good of the group, as a whole, has always been my goal as a leader to strive for; and with your help as members of Alpha Omega, we can all make that happen as partners in this quest. Being "Partners in Alpha Omega" is the theme that I will pursue as a leader. A "Partner" is defined as a person associated with another or others in an activity of common interest or of common bond.

Our bond is the good and betterment of Alpha Omega as a whole. With your help as Partners in Alpha Omega that bond will take life as we focus on the goals and purposes that are the basis of what Alpha Omega stands for.

Alpha Omega began its quest as a group called Genesis. Genesis was started because a loving, caring wife knew of her husband’s cross dressing and sought ways to give support, caring, and understanding to him and to others whose lives are affected by cross dressing. That selfless compassion was the seed that grew to become Alpha Omega. And that, Partners, is what Alpha Omega is still about today.

What better way can we carry on this heritage than by focusing on these basic fundamentals for those who are Partners in Alpha Omega today, and for those we have yet to meet. In sports a coach takes a group of individuals and, in a short time, if successful, has them playing as a team. And they learn to play as a team by first focusing on the fundamentals of the sport, and then uniting in the common bond of working together to win the games they play. I ask you, as Partners in Alpha Omega, to join with me in now renewing our focus on the fundamentals that are our heritage.

Take the time to make those fundamentals a part of your being. Take the time to get to know your Partners in Alpha Omega. Take the time to become involved in the betterment and the good of Alpha Omega. And as we as Partners cultivate the fundamentals, we will grow stronger and more united in our goals and purposes; and Alpha Omega will be a group others will want to become a part of. And our unity will not only help our Partners and Partners yet to be to enrich themselves as human beings, but to also help us to grow and discover ourselves as individuals.

An amazing thing happens when Partners work together on fundamentals. Fun becomes an exciting new ingredient in those fundamentals. And the culmination and growth of the fundamentals that are the basis of what Alpha Omega stands for, leading to it being fun to be a Partner in Alpha Omega, is what I will do my best to work for as a leader. Together as Partners in Alpha Omega working on the fundamentals of Alpha Omega, we can and will continue the legacy of our heritage.

Your Partner,

Gloria Sue Fenton

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As we enter a new year, we will welcome new officers and committee members into office. There’s always so much to do, that it seems like we could use 200 committee’s and 500 volunteers. Yet, with all that lies in store, we will have to deal with things from a much smaller perspective. And albeit with lesser numbers, I am sure that the resolve and determination of everyone will overcome whatever we are handed.

I would like to offer up a challenge to everyone in the group. This includes Committee chairpersons, committee members, and Alpha Omega members as a whole.

My challenge is this: Find the good in the group. Find out how you can help, and dive in. Find our where the most help is needed, and try and place your efforts there. Do everything you can to work as a team. Reconcile all your differences, and direct your efforts to new comraderies. Focus your attentions towards support, both for that of new members and guests, and for those we have come to know and love. Work to make Alpha Omega the shining example of support in our area. Make this group "The Place" people want to come.

All the while, remember that you, as members and officers, are the faces of the group towards the community. Make certain that your best face is showing, whether it be individually, inclusively, or idealistically.

None of this will be hard to do. It just takes a little time , and a little thinking, and we can assure ourselves a wonderful place to belong.

Abby

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By Kathleen Fenton

First off, I would like to thank you making me the Director of Family Support. This year has been a transition year, so we only had a few months to try to accomplish any thing once our new constitution was adopted. And, unfortunately, it has been a tragic year, both personally and for the group. We lost Gloria’s Dad suddenly in May, and more recently we lost a friend when Dauna just as suddenly passed away. These losses have made it nearly impossible to move forward, but move forward we will.

The first thing is to plunge head long into the holiday season, as I always do. It seems summer was just yesterday, yet Halloween has come and gone. By the end of this weekend all the leaves will be on the ground, and there is much outdoor work to be done while the weather holds. Thanksgiving is almost upon us, and I am just now getting my holiday baking organized. Then there is the decorating to do, the gifts to buy and wrap, and parties, get-togethers and family times to enjoy. And about a million other things between now and the end of the year. So, the first order of business is to take a deep breath and do all the things that make your holidays special. Try to find some time to relax, then get those New Year’s resolutions ready.

In January we will get down to business. We will work on goals and concrete ways to pursue those goals. We will take a look at what things we already have in place and how best to utilize those resources. We will examine the needs and work to establish ways of filling those needs. If you are interested in being part of this committee, please contact me. In the meantime, Happy Holidays; and we hope to see you at our December Christmas Party.

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On the Town- October 2002  (Part 2).- by Diane Sofia Frank

(note- part 1 started with a capsule summary of the film "Fanfares of Love", which also played at the Cinematheque")

The Cockettes- This 2001 documentary on the fusion of hippy and gay culture in San Francisco was fascinating for the exuberant costumes and the liberated social atmosphere. For a group so named, I was surprised to learn that three of the members were women. Communal love, and total freedom of self expression in vintage clothing were the orders of the day. The troop was also overtly political, satirizing American morés with its notorious "Tricia’s Wedding". But as you might expect a large percentage of the members, (not the women) died of AIDS. The now famous and notorious John Water’s and Divine were also involved with the C’s as well. "Give me a torn dress, a hit of acid and let’s go to the beach".

Both films played at the Cleveland Cinematheque in University Circle. There is convenient, lighted parking immediately adjacent to the entrance. "Sordid Lives", featuring an all star cast (Delta Burke, Bonnie Bedelia,Beau Bridges, Olivia Newton-John, plays the Nov 1 weekend.

"Being Beautiful" is a musical play about the life of an African-American Drag queen in the late 1930s as viewed through the present. Many of the expected stock parts of the drag mythos are present, from the son (Afton) who is cast from the family for his queerness, to the drag mother who takes him in and teaches him to earn a living as a drag performer, to the bickering and fierce loyalty of the other queens, to the gentleman caller who pursues them. There was no lip synching in this performance, and while I can’t remember a single tune from it, the baritone and tenor harmonizing and the 4 piece accompaniment were outstanding. A woman sitting next to me was quite moved as the play’s themes of estrangement and reconciliation had immediate connection to her own life.

There are three dramatic high points in the play, first when Afton demands his sister honor his accomplishment of supporting her and her illegitimate daughter, no matter that he did it in drag. He did his duty as a man to support those who depended on him. This point, that drag queens may like beauty, wear dresses and emulate women, but at the core they are men, gay men, emphasized as one of girls appears after joining the army to serve in the Second World War. All are dressed in suits (or in uniform) at this point, as the Drag mother has been on the lam after hitting a police officer for beating on one of her girls (foreshadowing the Stonewall riots). An masked man shows up, anguished and vengeful because his wife has mocked his manhood when she found out of his liaisons with some of the drag queens. He shoots all of them dead but Afton. Afton, confused and upset afterwards, rejects his lover, and gives up the stage, returning to his original career goal of having a flower shop. He continues to support his sister and her daughter. The third moving scene is the reconciliation at the end among the brother, sister and daughter and the promise that Afton and his lover will reunite after many years.

The Karamu Theatre is a cultural treasure of Cleveland’s African American community. Alpha Omega received an invitation from Karamu to attend this long running show. I regret that I appear to be the only person to attend. AO has no African American members, and I hope the contacts I made there will be a start towards outreach to them and service to presently unserved segment of our community. Karamu has a fenced, lighted, guarded parking lot, immediately adjacent to its well laid out, intimate theatre.

In a totally different vein, Chevrei Tikva, Cleveland’s GLBT Liberal Jewish congregation installed its first Rabbi, Rachel Rembrandt on October 4^th. The Shabbat installation services filled the Cleveland Heights Unitarian Church and 6 rabbis from other liberal congregations came to help with the ceremonies. On the following Saturday evening, CT celebrated it’s 18^th anniversary with a Gala Party at the Crawford Auto Museum. A wonderful time was had by all, including your light-footed correspondent, who had a lot of fun playing Ginger Rodgers to the music of a wonderful little swing band. (Never you mind who Fred was). And the next time someone says to you that Ginger did everything Fred did except backwards and in hi-heels, you can tell them for me…Nu? (Literally "well?", Yiddish for so? or so what?)

On Thursday, October 10^th, nationally renowned transgender activist Leslie Feinberg spoke to a variety of student and community groups in the Kiva of the Student Center at Kent State University. Feinberg, who has at times identified as a stone butch or as a transman, is an unreconstructed ‘60s labor activist. Natty in a silver gray suit, coordinating tie and fine close cropped silver grey hair, Feinberg focused mostly on current events and the need from zhe’s point of view (yes, Feinberg doesn’t use standard gender binary pronouns) for renewed social activism. Zhe did make one very important point to all of us. "What", Feinberg asked, "Do L, G, B and T have in common?". Answering zhe’s own question Feinberg replied, "Absolutely nothing…….except that society views us as all the same and oppresses us all." We need to stand together to change society’s viewpoint on issues of sexual and gender identity.

We have a very exciting new resource if you’re willing to drive to Mentor and play by the rules. LA and NY designer Laurie Chesbrough has landed back in the family business complex in Mentor and set up Mimi’s Warehouse. She specializes in helping women expand their fashion palette with deeply discounted pieces she collects in NY, LA and London. (Deeply discounted means something that retailed in LA for $800 you can get for $200. This doesn’t mean a $40 Marshall’s knock-off marked down to $5, so save up your quarters and pinch your pennies). A big fan of Eddie Izzard, she’s very much interested in working with our community. Her London stock has been held up by the shipping strike so I’ll need to pay a return visit, but she proved her point when she got me try on a sleeveless cowl-necked crocheted orange and brown sweater, draping a brown shawl on my arms. This really set of my auburn hair. I never would have imagined sleeveless would work for me. Then she showed me a turquoise coat cut in such a way as to really give me a figure. Now if she can only find it in my size and in brown.

The matter has some urgency to it. I’ve been invited to be on November 15^th as a member of a trans-panel that in turn is part of a number of activities down at U. Akron coordinating with the appearance of Dr. Drew Pinsky, MTV’s "Love Doctor". I wanted to have the right look for such an appearance. Something that says fashion savvy but not a over-the-top. And definitely not "conservative man in a conservative dress". Laurie’s collection by the way does tend towards the flashier items, and those of you who want something that will make the other girls at the clubs wilt with envy (at least until the get something of their own from Mimi’s warehouse) should plan on seeing her. But if you plan on seeing her, remember the following:

1. This is a by appointment business only. Don’t break an appointment. You will mess this up for everyone else if you show Laurie that she can’t trust members of our community to keep their commitments.
2. You can’t change there. You must arrive properly dressed. She’ll want to take measurements, so your foundation garments should be modest.
3. At present this is just fashion advice and clothing sales. No photo sessions. You can’t go put something on, take a picture, take it off and leave. That’s NOT what this is about. This is a chance to be treated as a woman who is serious about the image she presents in various parts of her life.
4. As a courtesy to other customers, don’t wear heavy perfume that might stick to clothing you try on.
5. Bring a towel or large handkerchief to put over your face when trying on pull-over garments. This is prevent makeup from getting on them
6. Have a half-slip and a full slip along so that skirts and dress’s hang properly.

I’m hopeful that Laurie can join us for our Christmas Party and get to know us a bit, before coming to a meeting as a featured speaker to give us some pointers on dressing well. There are lots of possibilities here and I can’t wait to see what unfolds. Contact information for Mimi’s Warehouse is posted on the web site.

I mentioned my auburn hair back a bit. On my way home from Mimi’s Warehouse I decided to drop in unannounced on the sheitl (Yiddish for the wigs worn by Torah observant Jewish Women) shop that it came from. You won’t find that chartreuse or lavender number at Hair Options. I’m pleased to report that the proprietress didn’t blink an eye. She helped me "grow" my hair a couple of inches in a shade quite close to the original in a luscious human synthetic blend. Hair Options is located on Green just north of Cedar. The shop is quite small, essentially private, and stocks higher end wigs, hats etc. Jacqueline is one of the better known lines they carry and as a brand it lists itself as TG friendly on its web site. So is Hair Options, a nearby location for people who live on Cleveland’s east side and have conservative tastes.

To top that particular day off, we had tickets for "The Producers". When I finally got home, my beloved partner looked me up and down and said, "why change? you’re dressed for the theatre already, why don’t we go as you are?". So I didn’t and we did. For those of you who don’t know Mel Brooks "The Producers", this over-the-top, engagingly vulgar musical version of the cult movie classic features sleazy slimy producer Max Bialystock, neurotic accountant and would be producer, Leo Bloom and one Roger DeVries, a flamboyantly gay Director. Roger makes his appearance dressed as the Grand Duchess Anastasia as he prepares for the costume contest at the Choreographer’s ball. The mirror silver gown that gives him a figure like Mae West is aptly described as looking like the Chrysler Building. (I wonder how much a knock off of that costs!). Also, in the highly acclaimed production number of little old ladies tap dancing with their walkers, half or more of the old ladies are members of the male chorus.

At intermission, I found myself explaining a bit about Mel Brooks to the other woman sitting next to me. She and her husband weren’t enjoying, as they’d come on the recommendation of their children without looking into the matter further. Brook’s studied crudeness and bad taste left them reeling. I think my explanation of some of the background and the various inside Jewish, musical theatre and political jokes helped her (if not her rather stiff husband) enjoy the second act more.

Last but not least for this month was the return to Cleveland Public Theatre of Varla Jean Merman, the illegitimate daughter of Ernest Borgnine and Ethyl Merman. Last year’s cheesy performance were so well received that Jeffrey Roberson’s dizzy drag queen was scheduled for 2 weeks this year. This year’s show, titled "I’ve Got The Music In Me" continues Roberson’s exploration of the self absorbed Diva. Varla is far nastier about her self absorption than a similar diva exploration by the Australian Drag persona of Dame Edna Everage. Dame Edna is genially condescending, whereas Varla gives the impression that her seemingly good natured condescension is just a marketing ploy that doesn’t always work, someone trying to act well above their class.

Along the way, this one-act 70 minute show takes side trips through the comedic bad taste that Mel Brookes left out of "The Producers." Varla’s stint as an organ transplant courier, a ventriloquistic dueling yodel competition with a singing frankfurter ( and exploiting every double entendre you can imagine), and a long overdue song entitled "Why Can’t Rappers Teach Themselves How to Speak" comprise just some the explorations around the theme of music that momentarily divert Varla from her self obsession. The "Whatever happened to Class" duet from the musical Chicago is done in vocal style with accompanist Ricky Ritzel. Roberson did a stint as Mary Sunshine, the "sob-sister" reporter who turns out to be a man in Chicago, presumably warbling the high notes and sustaining that last note in "There’s a Little Bit of Good in Everyone" with the same effortless coloratura that he presents as Varla Jean. Last but not least is Varla’s famous gargling easy cheese closing number. Of course there is an encore that apologizes for "not remembering anyone in the audience because it’s too much for this one small girl’s brain." This is not your standard drag act, and Roberson doesn’t doff his wig at the end to prove he’s really a boy. In case you hadn’t figured it out, there’s no lip synching here either. Varla Jean lives in a universe all of her own. Now that I’ve seen Roberson twice, I wonder what other universes this extraordinarily talented and versatile performer, comedian and author can come up with.

That’s it so far this month. I had a talk after the show with the marketing director for Cleveland Public Theatre, and there may be something special for our community coming up in December. And I’ve interviewed Jef Roberson, but that can wait for next month.

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Although out of our normal scope, as part of our support services we do list some resources for transsexuals. A new workshop, Metamorphosis is running at the GLBT Center on Detroit. Lead by Sharay and Taylor the focus of this group is getting over the hurdles of transition with minimum cost and most effective effort. Details are listed on the web site.

On the way to check out the above, I stopped by a Payless Shoestore where I learned that a friend was right and I was wrong. Payless size 13 boots fit my feet even if I can’t get into flats the same size. Finally a nice pair of boots. I also stopped for dinner at Market 25 in Ohio City, sampling one of Denajua’s crepes (brie and ham…lovely) and some sensuous cashew chocolate bark from Séshart for dessert. A safe, artsy environment. Next time I’ll try the Sushi. I also found a lovely silver bangle there.

I had a wonderful time seeing Giselle on Halloween. From a technical point of view the choreography is antique and the formal language of ballet pantomime comical, but the ballet is still a great work, and a lovely choice by Linda Jackson for the Halloween weekend. Of course the dancing by the American Ballet Theatre of New York was superb. A ballerina friend restarting her life anew in Cleveland accompanied me. I asked her to join us at the last minute, having missed my cue the first time I realized she had no plans to go on her own and wanted company. It turned out that the rest of the women either were ill or had schedule conflicts, so my last minute addition proved to be my only companion for the evening. During our dinner conversation (appetizers only, we do have to consider how we’ll look in class on Monday) at Ciao, Mme. B. thought that expressing my "femme" side must be very liberating, something she relates to as she experiences being on her own for the first time in years.

Even though she couldn’t make it to Giselle on Halloween, Mme S. did find the time that day to take me over and introduce me to Shaker Square Accessories, where I had a second round of cutting done on my new acquisition from Hair Options. Shaker Square Accessories also features wigs, jewelry, jewelry repair and earring conversion services. Owners Walter and Merlyn Wenson would welcome our business. Contact details are on the website. Their daughter, a beautician already does private transformations for a client.(vide infra) For some of us this is considerably closer than the shops in the far suburbs. It is also another entrée to the African American community, something Alpha Omega needs to focus on.

After a getting my hair taken care of, I then went directly to the house of a friend who was having a computer problem and up against a tight deadline to finish an editing job. This was one of those decisions we all dread, the kind of choice-"do you stop to help in an emergency when you’re dressed?". Given my commitments that day, there was no time to change and then go over. Halloween was no shield either as Mme. A. quickly discerned the difference between identity and costume. The computer problem turned out to be trivial, and in gratitude, embarrassment and solicitude for the absence of my spouse I was invited over for dinner on Monday with Mme. and Mssr. A. I know some people love to talk about why they do this, but honestly I find it a bore and an invitation for judgment based on why rather than, am I presenting and behaving in a way that makes you want to continue have a friendship with me? I’m not sure who will be grilled for dinner on Monday, the salmon…or me.

I find that I’m affected more and more by stories of loss and redemption as I get older and see more of the sorrowful sides of life. I recently attended a theatrical presentation and movie that dealt with these themes. The problem from a club point of view is that these events dealt with these themes from the perspective of the gay male community. There don’t seem to be theatrical presentations that show the losses and redemption of heterosexual crossdressers…all we seem to be allotted is farce. Homosexuals and transsexuals seem to have the monopoly on true drama and comedy. Still looking at the broad outlines, one can find something to identify with in these shows: even straight audiences enjoy them.

"Falsettos" was presented as a reading, at the Weathervane Playhouse in Akron on two successive Monday evenings. Originally two separate one-act musicals, the combined show deals with the fallout of a man leaving his wife for another man, and then the men breaking up in the first act. In the second act the two men are reunited around the son’s bar mitzvah only to lose one to AIDS during the ceremony. It is easy enough to recast the drama with the 3^rd side of the triangle as the femme side of the husband disrupting the marriage. Given the death and illness we’ve experienced in our chapter this year, the shadow cast by HIV/AIDS isn’t difficult to relate to either.

"Sordid Lives" is a star-filled funny wish fulfillment comedy catering to gay male myths. For example, the gay man who comes out to find out that everyone already knew is worked to death in this story. In this world it’s the straights who are eccentric and out of control, while the gays are the ones who see life clearly, if a bit over dramatically. Since our gentle readers are not likely to go see this on their own, it does no harm to reveal that the cross dressing scenes of Beau Bridges in an ill-fitting lacy bra over a hairy chest are done at gunpoint forced by a vengeful pair of women. Humiliation of straight men is another element of the gay canon. But it’s hard to deny them the indulgence given the general opprobrium that gays get in this country and much of the rest of the world. At the end, family reunites despite the difficulties in sorting out their sordid lives. Sordid Lives ran at the Cleveland Cinematheque from Nov 1-3.

The Ohio Independent Film Festival was featured this past week at the Cleveland Public Theaters Gordon Square Theater. Our friend, voice coach and guest speaker for last month Ellen Friedman had a role in a film titled "This Train". The story had some vivid images and characterizations, but I felt that it borrowed mood from "Oh Brother, where art thou?" Apparently, the Arch Angel Michael is incarnated in the body of a woman who has been struck by lightening. Michael wanders off to collect people with troubled lives and bring them to spiritual redemption. The problem with a mysterious and mystical film is that it can also be incomprehensible. Ellen’s big scenes were left on the cutting room floor, but she’s getting more and more work, so we can hope to see her performances in something else soon. There was an after party at the somewhat notorious Domino lounge on Prospect Street afterwards. I dropped in and had some brisket, but didn’t think it a good idea to stay too late.

The next night featured two films with transgendered themes, organized by Carol Tavris. The first was another mystical spiritual vision, heavy on cheap video effects about the murder of a transgendered (MtF) Navaho girl. The second was an extraordinarily brave film by young man exploring his father’s transsexuality. "The Myth of Father" was unflinching and his father comes off as selfish, self absorbed and "she" certainly didn’t register as a woman to me. There was a panel discussion afterward. People from Trans Family including Bob and Karen Gross, and Jake and Erin, the couple trying to get married down in Trumbull County were the principle speakers. I had an interesting conversation with Carol at the wine and cheese reception afterwards and she invited me to join their group for dinner afterwards at Minh Anh. Dinner was lovely, with absolutely no discussion gender issues at all. Nor as I ever asked to explain my appearance or choices. I skipped the film festival after party this time, even though it was at another location, as I was tired and had to leave for California in the morning.

In California, I had lunch with and spent an enchanting afternoon with Denae Doyle, a presentation coach who works with the transgendered. I’m not going to summarize our discussions here as they merit a separate article. I hope to have reviewed the draft with her in time for the January Newsletter. (Her daughter’s wedding is coming up, so I think it appropriate to give her some breathing room…heaven knows I need it. (grin)) She did suggest that if I was looking a better foundation, I try Channel counter at Gottschalls, an upscale department store just a few feet from the popular Japanese restaurant where we lunched….and then we kept on chatting for 4 hours. I’m delighted to report that the Channel double perfection matte beige applied as a liquid with a brush is the best foundation I’ve yet discovered. Finally something that looks smooth going on, and maintains a natural surface when others start to look like the porous foam rubber used for the Muppets.

There is an upcoming special on the Discovery channel (Sunday, November 24^th, 2002 at 10:00 PM) about the transition process for MtF transsexuals that features in Denae working with one of her clients. While of course Triess members are not, with a few exceptions transition bound, Denae expects that the show will give people a good idea about her methods and what to expect.

Because I’d made an error on my return flight to Cleveland, I had some extra time, and by rearranging my Tuesday appointment was able to make the 4.5 hour drive down to Santa Barbara to help a high school friend who I’m out to celebrate her 51^st birthday at a Mexican Restaurant. I had a number of interesting conversations. The woman sitting next to me is about to travel around the world, working her way as she goes teaching English as a second language. This is not a young woman doing this either or for the first time. Then there is one woman whose 90-year-old mother has taken up with a 60 year old pre-op TS. The mother is courageous and the daughter, an out lesbian, a bit freaked. It seems that her biggest issue was not reading the supposed TS as a woman, just as a guy with a kink and badly in need of a reality check. I never know what to say to this, as it’s not politically correct to tell any transperson that they aren’t 100% right about whatever mythology of their self they believe in.

To cap the week of, immediately after my return from the left coast, I scooted down to Akron to hear Dr. Drew Pinsky speak. I had been invited to a dinner reception before hand, but didn’t get to sit at the table with Dr. Drew.

On the way down to Akron I stopped by A to Z Accessories on Lee Road near Harvard. A to Z is run by Angela, the daughter of the owners of Shaker Square Accessories. Angela caters to a number of crossdressing members of the African American Community from this little shop where she carries some second hand clothing as well as wigs and jewelry. Detail are on the website.

Back to Pinksy. They pretty much filled the first floor of E.J. Thomas Hall with undergraduates. Pinsky is a smooth and effective public speaker, candidly and unblushingly discussing relationship and sexual issues. His theme for this nearly totally straight, nearly totally white college crowd where the co-eds outnumbered the boys 3 or 4 to one was that in the years between 18and 28 boys and girls are as different from each other as they can get. He explained the differences on the basis of brain development and chemistry and the influence of hormones. He did not venture into any sort of gender/trans issues except in response to a question. His reply was somewhat unfortunate: he indicated that he had no expertise in the area and that he had no control over the content of "his" website. He also indicated that the only context in which he had contact with this community was in context of his professional work in mental health, that is dealing with severely dysfunctional and addicted people. The implication that this was the only place you’d find people dealing with trans issues was unavoidable, even if it wasn’t, as he later said, his intent. At the reception after the show I had a chance to ask him whether he thought that his message was reaching the kids and doing any good. He candidly replied that he had no idea, and it would be worth a good study.

The following night, I was a guest on a panel put together by the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender Student group at U Akron, and the Akron Pride Center. I spoke as a representative of Alpha Omega. All of the panelists were TS or TS spouses except for myself, my friend Ms. K- a butch lesbian, and a psychologist Dr. V. My contributions to the discussion included a plea not to try to categorize people by tables and labels, and to look at the merits of individuals as you find them. After several rounds of the usual stories from TS about how miserable they were before transition and how happy they are now, I felt it important, even if the whole story game is just that, for the audience to know that not everyone dealing with transgender issues is unhappy. So I told them, albeit reluctantly, a bit about myself. I found myself in a disagreement with Dr. V who believes there is such a thing a "core gender identity" that can be discerned from the stories people tell about themselves. My experience is that trans-narratives are entirely self-serving. They are crafted to get past gatekeepers such as Dr. V who can prescribe hormones and surgery. The stories borrow from other stories that have "worked" in the past and hence cannot be relied on as evidence for the existence of something called a "core gender identity" that is independent of gender performance, clothing, sexuality etc. Finally, at the very end, I noted that this kind of forum is a necessary evil. The people who would be watching the tape in the future were sitting in a position of judgement. Growing up immersed in heterosexual privilege and accustomed to heterosexual expression, they would expect they had such a right of judgement. I insisted that they really didn’t, and that it was past time for our society to move beyond this, to accepting the variations of sexuality and gender and seeing people as individuals.

The evening didn’t end there, as couple who I’d sent information to via the internet expressed a desire to talk further with me. So we went over to Alladin’s for a later dinner where we talked more. I’m hoping they’ll consider joining us at our Christmas party.

And that’s what’s been going on around town…except for one thing coming up on November 23^rd. A full production of "The Sissy Show" will be taking place at 7:30 PM at the Cleveland Heights Unitarian Universalist Church. This transgender musical review covers the gamut of transgender issues and expressions. You can expect a large Unitarian crowd to attend this event. If you are looking for a first place to be en femme in a public setting you couldn’t ask for a safer, more accepting group to start with. The doors open at 6:45 and parking can be somewhat tricky in the Coventry District. There is a listing on the AO website with more details on this event.

Diane Sofia Frank

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KINDRED SPIRIT: THIS AWARD RECOGNIZES OUTSTANDING CARING AND

RISING STAR: THIS AWARD HONORS THE EXEMPLARY GROWTH OF

LADY OF THE YEAR: THIS AWARD HONORS A MEMBER WHOSE

DUTY TO ALPHA OMEGA AND ALL Its MEMBERS.

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